I started working at Manchester Met in January 2023, joining the Careers and Employability Department. My first Coming Out was in the early 2010’s, but I first identified as Bisexual in 2018. 

In my experience, Coming Out is a continuous process, but the approach changes. The first few times can feel like a big life-changing moment, but I have noticed a gradual change from creating a big moment of support to casually including the information in conversation. This is very much my approach now in the workplace: using gender neutral language to describe my partner, sharing that I went to pride as part of my weekend plans, wearing a pride pin or telling colleagues about the Rainbow Network as it comes up in conversation are all examples of this. 

When I first started becoming more visibly Bisexual in a previous workplace, I did feel the impact of this on my work. At the time, some friends that I met at a local Bi+ group empowered me to use neutral language when speaking about my partner, which made me begin to feel so visible when I felt that my sexuality could not be seen. However, this did make me notice that attitudes towards me were starting to change. I will be honest in saying that in my experience, identifying as Bi and coming to terms with that was a much bigger struggle than anything I experienced when I identified as a Lesbian. 

Prior to my start at Manchester Met, I have never worked anywhere with any type of staff network. The Rainbow Network was not something I expected when I started here but became one of many factors that quickly proved to me that Manchester Met was a space where I can be myself and respected. It was amazing to finish a day of work and attend an LGBTQI+ History talk on campus, not only delivered by a Bi+ historian but including Bi history as well. 

During one of my first few weeks at Manchester Met, I used gender neutral language to refer to my partner in an introductory meeting. The response to this was “I’ve picked up that you’ve used gender neutral language there, is that their preferred pronouns?”. I was quite shocked at the time by how perfect this reply was, when so often someone has assumed one way or another. 

Every Bi Visibility Day starts with a few jokes with friends that it’s the one day of the year that we can see each other. But then I remember the history, and the alarming statistics that highlight a large inequality gap between Bi+ people and their Gay and Straight Counterparts. Bi People are more likely to experience homelessness, abuse, stalking, have a disability and be neurodivergent than their straight and Gay counterparts. Bi+ adults are the most likely to feel lonely, 14% more likely to worry about being victims of a crime (consistent with a higher actual victimisation rate of 45% in one study), have higher rates of anxiety, are more likely to experience chronic pain, and Bi men more likely to be paid less than any other gender/sexuality group. * 

My advice to allies is that allyship is not exclusive to straight people. Despite being a part of the LGBTQI community, there is still so much allyship needed from our Gay and Lesbian peers especially. A study by Stonewall suggested that more than one in four Bi women have experienced exclusion within LGBT spaces compared to the 9% of Lesbians and 4% of Gay Men. 

For those considering coming out or questioning, I would suggest speaking to other people with shared experiences. Joining The Rainbow Network (or in my case a local group such as Biphoria), was a vital first step for me to find a community, talk about my feelings, and meet so many amazing like-minded individuals that I could share my values with. I have found the Bi+ community to be the least judgemental group to ever be a part of, full of many individuals who didn’t feel welcomed in other spaces.  I will be forever thankful for finding a home there and everything it has taught me.